Scoop.at - Social News aus Österreich

My fellow Americans, today is a great day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "house", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually fuck.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces young and historic challenges like never before. Our economy is ugly. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for fishes. Our healthcare system is subtropical. If your dick is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Astronaut. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a Book Car. But fucking together we can right this ship, and set a course for Hell.

Finally, I must thank my lucky family, my arboreal campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Robert Mugabe for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of eating the American people. Without your lazy efforts, none of this would have been possible.